There seems to be an aversion to marriage that, in our society, is becoming increasingly more popular and acceptable in younger generations. From TV shows (like ABC's "Better With You") to popular songs (like Train's "If It's Love"), the idea that a marriage may, in fact, not be a commitment that feeds the growth of love, but rather a burden that hinders it, seems to be gaining more and more supporters every day. Though I have not decided where I stand personally on the issue, I do think that both sides hold strong opinions about their opposers that tend to leave them rather narrow-minded. It can be difficult to accept either mindset if you're not aware of the intentions of the form of commitment. So let's examine the two options:
A Daily Commitment
I can see where these people are coming from. I really can. As Train says, "I'm afraid when I hear stories about husband and wife, there's no happy ending". I can respect the people who choose not to get married. There are some people who, with marriage, would simply stop trying. Sure it's not a respectable mindset, but it happens to the best of us. The idea of making a commitment without getting married is centered around that concept of waking up every morning and choosing to love your partner. Similarly, you are working constantly, daily, to fill the role of the ideal mate, to keep your partner happy and make sure that they never feel a lapse in your love. Without marriage, the goal of every day is being so good to your significant other that they couldn't possibly leave you. In marriage, it can be easy to fall into the trap of taking each others love for granted. Every day you awake and know that no matter what kind of shit you pull off, your wife is still gonna be your wife the next morning. Especially after the hundreds of dollars she payed on that white dress and ice sculpture. If she wanted to get rid of you, she'd have to go through a big hassle, which would take a lot of time. Essentially, it allows you almost too much time to make up for your mistakes, possibly resulting in a generally bitter relationship held together by the fact that each party is too lazy to go through a divorce. Some call this daily guaranteed love "unconditional love". But if your spouse is truely to love you no matter what you do, what's going to stop you from doing something completely awful? Others argue that not being married encourages a relationship in which both parties are free to see whoever they want, which is not true at all. There is still a commitment, still a monogamous bond. It's just in this bond, each person agrees to live their life winning the love of their partner. In marriage, the promise is to love their partner despite their imperfections. Being married doesn't necessarily keep one from having relations with someone who is not their partner any more than simply making a commitment does. Essentially, the goal of making a non-marital commitment is to spend each day pleasing each other and promise never to take each others love for granted.
Marriage
Marriage is a good idea. That's probably why it's been going on for so long. We all know it's implications and importance from a religious aspect. But there are so many other glorious benefits to marriage as well. First of all, two people use this ceremony to pledge their lives to each other, to commit to loving one person for the rest of their life. Being able to trust your partner enough to make this commitment implies a very strong, unbreakable connection between two people. And if you're willing to celebrate the fact that you will see this same person every day for the rest of your life in front of all of your family and friends, then it is obvious that the depth of the relationship being solidified is truly remarkable. If you can accept that you will never be with another lover for the rest of your life, if you are content, even thrilled, to spend the rest of your life becoming part of this one person, then marriage is a statement of weight. It means more than just a ring and a title and a pretty ceremony, but it means, quite simply, that you are happy- that your partner never has to prove themself to you.
I will be very curious to see, in the future as these non-marital commitments become more popular, whether they experience the same complications as marriages, or if the relationships formed through these kinds of bonds will actually operate more smoothly. It will be difficult to track, obviously, being that a divorce is much more widely publicized than a break-up. But I think our society can learn a lot about human nature and the future of society by keeping tabs on these innovative individuals.
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